Are you listening to my podcast from an Android phone? Did you know that there is a way for you to write me a review even from an Android phone?
I used to think that Apple Podcast is the only place to leave a review but I recently just found out about this new review site called Podchaser, where you can write me a review even from your Android phone.
And I got my first review on Podchaser this week and I wanted to share it with you before we start the show.
Jinnie wrote
I love Celina’s podcast, it’s truly helpful, inspirational, and it gives motivation for those who are interested in exploring colorful career paths and dreams.
Wow, thank you so much Jinnie! I’m so grateful that you took the time to write me a review and it totally made my day 🙂
Doing this podcast is a labor of love. And I do it in the hope that it will inspire and help a lot of people. But I need your help. If you enjoy listening to my podcast, or if it helped you in anyway, I’d be so grateful if you can please tell your friends about it and also share on social media.
As you know, I’m a one woman show, and I don’t have a huge advertising budget, so I’m relying on you to help me grow the podcast so I can help a lot more people.
Another way you can help me is by writing me a review. I love reading your reviews and it means so much to me. And it keeps me motivated to keep creating new episodes even on days when it’s really hard to do so.
So I’d be really grateful if you can please write me a review on Apple Podcast or on Podchaser if you listen from an Android phone. I’ll include both links on the show notes for today’s episode.
Just open up your podcast app and click on today’s show notes. Or you can go to celinalee.co/episode44 that is celinalee.co/episode44.
Today I want to talk about how to feel better.
I know that this is something we all want. We want to be happy, and we want to feel positive emotions.
We want to achieve certain goals in our lives because we think that we will feel good, and will be happy when we get what we want, whether that is a job, a house, a car, a relationship or lose weight, or whatever it is that we want.
So feeling good is what we really want, but unfortunately our brains have a negativity bias which means that we are way more sensitive and give a lot more weight to negative facts and information than positive ones.
This is because negative information is necessary for our survival because it signals threats. So if there is a lion nearby, you better feel the fear and get away as fast as you can, otherwise you might die. So being highly sensitive to negative information, and feeling the fear will save you.
But on the other hand, positive information is not as crucial to our survival, so our brain pays less attention to them.
And this has been true for our ancestors for thousands and thousands of years, so the ones who felt a lot of fear, and were very sensitive to negative information had better chances of survival. And their DNAs were passed down to the next generation, so this explains why our brains have been wired this way.
So this is why we tend to focus on the negative things in our lives way more than the positive ones.
And this has been really important for our survival but it unfortunately does not help with our desire to be happy and to feel positive emotions.
So just know that, if you are feeling more negative emotions than positive ones, you are not weird, or any different from other people. It’s because you are human.
But we still want to feel better, so today, I want to talk to you about how we can do that, and I’ll share with you 3 steps.
- Observe the thought that is creating the feeling. And choose a thought that will make you feel better.
There’s always a thought behind a feeling. When you feel a certain emotion whether that is a positive or a negative one, a thought you are having is causing that emotion.
So when you are feeling bad, ask yourself this “what thought is causing me to feel this way?” and then challenge your thought. Is it really true?
Because we often drive ourselves crazy with these worries and thoughts that are probably not true, and most likely will never happen.
Our thoughts and feelings are not realities, and we don’t have to believe them.
I worry a lot, I’m definitely a worrier, and I’ve been like this all my life, I know it was not easy. And when I feel bad, I catch myself often and realize my mind is wandering to a terrible place and I’m thinking and worried about something that is not even true, and will probably never be true.
Or sometimes I catch myself comparing myself to other people for no reason, and we all know this doesn’t help us at all. It only makes us feel bad.
So I’ve learned that I’m not my thought or my feeling, and I don’t have to believe them or take them too seriously.
And it’s important to be aware of what thoughts we have, because repetitive thoughts become thought patterns and they become our beliefs.
So it’s very important that we pay attention to what thoughts we allow ourselves to have, and I know it’s not possible to control our thoughts, but what we can do is observe them and pay attention to them.
So that we don’t get caught up in a storyline in our head.
And I’ve learned that I can choose my thought. I can choose a thought that will make me feel better.
So for example, I recently made a stupid mistake and someone pointed it out to me, so right at that moment, I felt terrible and really embarrassed, and I easily could have started beating myself up and judging myself which I often do, and think all these terrible thoughts about myself, like “What is wrong with me? What was I thinking?” And also start to worry about how other people might be judging me too.
But at that moment, I chose to have a different thought. And the thought was, everyone makes a mistake. I’m human so of course I can make mistakes too. And this was an honest mistake. And I’ve learned from this, so I’ll do better next time. And everyone is so busy so they are probably not spending all their time judging me, and they will probably forget eventually. I made a mistake but I’m not my mistake.
So I actually have no idea what other people are thinking, but I can choose a thought that will help me. Because if I’m actually not sure either way how they will think, if they are judging me or not, why not choose to think in a way that will actually make me feel better?
Of course we need to own our mistakes, do our best to correct them, and apologize to people, but beyond that, if we’ve done everything, and if there is nothing we can actually do about it now, then there is no use in keep beating ourselves up and feeling terrible about it.
So next time you are feeling bad, observe what thought is causing that feeling, and choose a different thought that will make you feel better.
- Ask yourself this question. Is what I am thinking or doing helping me or hurting me?
So this is a very simple but powerful question I ask myself everyday.
“Is what I am thinking or doing helping me or hurting me?”
I ask myself this question repeatedly throughout the day to make sure that my thoughts and my actions are aligned with my goals.
And that goal can be something I want to achieve or how I want to feel.
For example, I often get stressed out, and anxious when I’m staring at my to do list, because the list is very long, and I feel guilty about being so behind.
And of course my inner negative voice seizes the moment, and starts to scold me about procrastinating.
“I should have finished that last week! And I didn’t do anything yesterday and wasted the whole day! Why am I so unproductive? What is wrong with me?”
And then, I stop and pause, and I ask myself the question.
“Is feeling guilty and criticizing myself helping me or hurting me?”
I realize that it’s definitely not helping me to achieve my goal of becoming more productive and getting more things done.
Because when I criticize myself, I feel bad and I want to avoid the task even more.
It’s also not helping me with my goal of feeling happy and having a great day.
So you can ask yourself the same question in many different contexts.
“Is what I am thinking or doing helping me to achieve my goal to get a new job? To be healthier? To improve relationships with my loved ones?”
So for example, let’s talk about how this question may help you in your relationships. If your partner snaps at you, your immediate thought may be that he or she is rude, and doesn’t care about you or love you.
Is that thought helping you to be in a supportive and loving relationship?
When you realize the answer is no, you can then change your thought to “maybe she is exhausted and feeling overwhelmed” which will then allow you to respond with more kindness and compassion.
So next time you are feeling bad, just try asking yourself this question,”Is what I am thinking or doing helping me or hurting me?”
This is such a simple question but it has the power to change your life, as it has changed mine.
- Write a list of your accomplishments, and the moments when you were brave and proud of yourself.
So this is something I have all my coaching clients do. I have them think about all of their accomplishments and the moments when they were brave, and proud of themselves from when they were a little kid until now, and write them all down.
And I encourage you to create this list too.
The list will of course include your accomplishments where there were external recognitions, like some things on your resume, maybe winning an award, or getting accepted to schools, getting a job, a promotion etc.
But it’s also important that the list includes moments when there were no external recognition. Like the times when you were brave and you wanted to do something and it was really scary, but you did it anyway.
And also the moments when you were proud of yourself for doing something or trying something even if it didn’t work out the way you wanted. Maybe you got rejected, or you didn’t get into that school or didn’t get that job, or the company you started failed but you are still proud of the efforts you made.
So I want you to focus on the internal recognition, as much as the external recognition, when you are creating this accomplishment list.
And please include anything from when you were a little kid to until now. So obviously, we are talking about the things not just from your professional life but also your personal life as well.
The goal is to celebrate and acknowledge how much progress we have made since we tend to discredit the things we have done well, and focus way more on the things we didn’t do or didn’t get.
This exercise will help you to celebrate the internal achievements and not just the external accomplishments our society tends to focus on.
And it will also help to change how you see yourself and to improve the relationship you have with yourself.
Because I have learned that how you see yourself, and how you talk to yourself, and the relationship you have with yourself determine all the success and happiness you will have in your life. These are the foundation of all the achievements, and happiness you will experience in your life.
When I have my clients do this, they are very surprised at how much they actually have achieved over the years, because we rarely give ourselves the chance to stop and celebrate our accomplishments.
Another thing I also do and recommend to my clients are, I save all the nice messages and emails I get from my clients, and other people who have said nice things about what I do, and how I’ve helped them.
So these include the amazing testimonials from my coaching clients about how I’ve helped them to change and transform their lives, and of course my podcast reviews from you, and also the emails I get from people after they’ve attended my speaking engagements or attended my webinar, and how helpful it was to them.
I also save any nice messages or kind notes that I’ve received from my friends and family that make me feel great.
And I save all of them in a folder called “You Are awesome.” I have one on my email, and also on my phone.
I know this may sound silly or weird or very awkward, but it’s not talking about being boastful or stroking our ego.
The goal is to deliberately and intentionally think about the positive things in our lives, and to give ourselves the credit that we deserve, and acknowledge how far we have come, because as I’ve said earlier, our brain is designed to focus way more on the negative things than the positive things.
I think that we have to be our biggest cheerleader, and not just our biggest critic.
So try it. Write a list of your accomplishments, your brave moments, and the moments when you were proud of yourself.
And also create “You Are Awesome” folder and gather all the nice messages and emails you got from people.
And when you are feeling bad about yourself, and experiencing negative emotions, you can go back and read your accomplishment list, read what’s in your “You Are Awesome” folder, and you will feel better after you read them. Trust me. Your inner negative voice may say terrible things about you, but you now have the evidence to fight back and prove it wrong.
Ok, so I hope what I’ve shared with you today is helpful. So next time you are feeling bad, try these three steps to feel better.
- Observe the thought that is creating the feeling. And choose a thought that will make you feel better.
- Ask yourself, Is what I am thinking or doing helping me or hurting me?
- Write a list of your accomplishments, and the moments when you were brave and proud of yourself.
Please try these and let me know how it goes. I’d love to know how you are applying them in your own life.
If you want to see the show notes for today’s episode, just open up your podcast app and click on today’s show notes. Or you can go to celinalee.co/episode44 that is celinalee.co/episode44.
If you’re looking for guidance on how to find happiness and fulfillment in your career, I put together a guide to the three steps to finding true career fulfillment.
In this guide, I share the three common themes of the people who have achieved incredible amount of success and if you find what those three things are for you, I can guarantee you that you’ll not only have a successful career, but also a very fulfilling life. So if you want to check it out, you can download it by clicking on today’s show notes on your podcast app or on my website, celinalee.co that is is celinalee.co
And if you enjoy listening my podcast or it helped you in anyway, I would be so grateful if you can please tell your friends about it and also write me a review on Apple Podcast or Podchaser where you can write a review even from Android phone. This is the best way you can help me to grow my podcast so more people can find out about it.
I actually check several times a day to see if there’s a new review, I know it’s kind of funny and silly, but this is how I know you are listening and what I’m creating is actually helpful for you. So if you want to make my day, please write me a review on Apple Podcast or Podchaser, and I’d be so grateful.
If you have questions about my one-on-one coaching, or have any thoughts or questions about my podcast, you can reach out to me on my website celinalee.co/contact,, that is celinalee.co/contact, or click on today’s show notes on your podcast app and that will take you to my website.
And please subscribe on iTunes, Google podcast, Spotify, or wherever you listen to your favorite podcast, and I’ll be back next week with another episode. Thank you so much for listening and I hope you have a great week!
Wondering how my coaching can help you? Here is what my clients have said about their experiences of working with me.
Download the 3 Steps to True Career Fulfillment Here
There comes a time in your career when you question your professional happiness and fulfillment. This can be a defining moment if you take the time to ask yourself important questions and take action towards career that brings you joy.
If you are feeling stuck and don’t know what to do next, you are not alone. With the right guidance and a little momentum, you can be happy and fulfilled personally and professionally. If you’re looking for clarity and next steps, check out this guide, the 3 Steps to Finding True Career Fulfillment.
I use a 3-part framework to help you take the next step towards doing work you love and believe in. Get your copy here.
Did You Enjoy This Episode? Click Below To Subscribe:
“How did you find what you wanted to do with your life? How did you have the courage to pursue your dream?” These are questions I explore with people from all different walks of life. Their journeys reveal stories about dreams, courage, inspiration, and creativity. Subscribe below!
